“Real coffee drinkers don’t drink decaf” – and other stupid things people say

There’s a certain type of person—usually wearing a t-shirt with an espresso pun and some personality issues—who still says things like, “Decaf? What’s the point?”

You’ll hear them in cafés, online forums, your aunt’s WhatsApp group. People who believe real coffee drinkers drink real coffee, by which they mean “full of caffeine and arrogance.”

It’s 2025. Are we really still doing this?

Myth #1: Decaf is for people who can’t handle their coffee

Translation: “I am addicted to caffeine and I’ve decided that’s a personality.”

Listen, some people choose decaf because they like sleeping. Or because they don’t enjoy heart palpitations while sending emails. Or because they enjoy flavour without the physiological meltdown.

According to Speciality Food Magazine, the growth in decaf is being driven by exactly that—wellness, balance, and people who’d like to feel good and enjoy their coffee.

Myth #2: Decaf doesn’t taste as good

This one’s a classic. Right up there with “margarine causes divorce” and “you can’t trust oat milk.”

The reason people think decaf tastes bad is because most of them have only ever had instant supermarket horror. That’s not a taste issue. That’s a standards issue.

Proper decaf, made using methods like Swiss Water or CO2 processing, roasted with care, and brewed properly—shock!—tastes like coffee. Because it is coffee. Just minus the shakes.

Myth #3: Decaf is only for old people or pregnant women

Nope. That’s marketing from 1984 talking. According to Grocery Trader, 62% of Brits avoid coffee in the evening. Why? Because they want to sleep, not lie awake vibrating with regret.

And guess what? That includes men, women, students, business owners, and people who just want a decent cup of something that doesn’t trigger an existential crisis.

Myth #4: Caffeine equals character

Somewhere along the line, caffeine got romanticised. It became a symbol of hustle. A badge of honour. If you weren’t drinking triple shots at 9pm, were you even living?

But that’s changing. More people are realising that constant stimulation doesn’t equal productivity, or depth, or coolness. It just equals dehydration and poor sleep hygiene.

The rise of decaf is about taste, yes—but it’s also about control. About choosing how you feel. About getting to enjoy coffee on your terms, not caffeine’s.

Final sip: You’re allowed to enjoy your coffee without explaining it

Drink decaf. Don’t drink decaf. Mix and match. No one’s policing your cup.

Just don’t be the person who thinks a caffeine habit makes them an intellectual.

Decaf is not a downgrade. It’s just a different setting.

And sometimes, it’s the smarter one.

Want decaf that actually tastes like coffee? Start here.