Where it started
Our founder, David Holly, first had the idea for I Love Decaf after the anger management course he was attending ran out of piñatas to beat senseless with a stick. Disappointed that he would not, after all, earn 3 kilos of e-numbers and cane sugar for his violent revenge on a papier-mâché donkey, he escaped the maximum-security stockade and fled to the home counties where he remains to this day, still wanted and surviving as a soldier of fortune.
Determined to make a difference in the world, he became determined to help people kick the evil habit of caffeine addiction so that they could lead a life of calm and peaceful unity with the universe. He was, as all of us are, almost undone during a visit to a supermarket, where packet after packet of decaf tea and coffee contained almost no flavours.
His long years of zen-like calm saved the day and he determined instead to set out on a journey to make decaf drinks that all could truly love. Where flavour mattered and nobody would ever have to beat up a papier-mâché donkey ever again.
What is I Love Decaf?
Today, I Love Decaf has bloomed into a huge organisation of dedicated staff where the hand of management is so benevolent and caring that not everybody realises that they even work for us. A company founded on deep love and respect for every point of view, even the ones that are completely and totally wrong on every level. A company with a completely flat organisational diagram, viewed from the paper’s edge. An organisation where nobody is ever made redundant or fired, just de-staffeinated.
Our gargantuan cottage factories hire 1000s of staff to manually grind each bean individually, because there’s no I in coffee bean.
Our Diversity and Culture Director is so effective that he cancelled himself last year.
The delivery vans are ethically sourced – that is, they’re not stolen. Our carbon footprint fits inside a carbon stiletto.
We always say that our products speak better for us than we can ourselves and that may be apparent, indeed, obvious. We will leave the last words to our founder, Mr David Holly.
“Have you tried our latest…?”